So I cheated on my boyfriend... It was almost as if I couldn't stop it...

 
I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Our relationship has been great, however, latly... our sex life has begun to loose it's luster. I started working at a local resturant about 5 months ago, and met a really great guy, we'll call him J. J and I have been hanging out for a while, and just a couple weeks ago, I told him I had feelings for him... He told me that he had the same feelings.. but we couldn't do anything... I have a boyfriend. Last night though... that all changed. We went to the movies, which by the way... Hostel 2 sucks ass... Then went out afterwards and got coffee. We were talking about our lives and just driving around... That is what I love about J... I just feel like I can say anything, and he's never going to look down on me for it. We ended up pulling over, and walking to this little park in the middle of BFE. We chatted, and before long he was sitting next to me... Of course he brought up the fact that we liked eachother but that he was going to be a "good boy". (ha. ha... rite...) I looked away from him, and was like
"I'm going to regret this... arn't I..."
"Regret what?"
"This..." And I kissed him, I couldn't believe what I was doing until it was too like. It was almost like cocaine (Not that I've done it... seriously... I havn't.) I was hooked. That kiss quickly turned into making out. I just felt so... safe... so... good, with J... And yet, I could feel my hornyness... But it was as if J read my mind... He started to finger me. Now keep in mind... we're in a park... a PUBLIC PARK... So that didn't last long and we quickly left and went back to his car... But what was going on earlier just picked rite back up where we left off. In no time, I was on my knees... giving him head... I just couldn't stop myself... I USUALLY DONT EVEN LIKE GIVING ORAL SEX! BUT... I ACTUALLY WANTED TO! IT WAS ALMOST LIKE I WAS CRAVING HIM! :\ I was loving it... I thought I was just going to stop there, but the moment I saw his penis... well... I should have known things where only going to go farther... He pulled me ontop of him, and whispered to me if I wanted to f*ck. ... I said yes.
So there we were... On his front driver side seat... having sex in my drive way...
I thought I would feel guilty, and would have him stop... But I didn't. As a matter of fact... That was the best fricking sex I've had in a long time.
... Considering my past... I was surprized that I felt so safe with J... It loved it... and now, I don't know if I love him... I don't want to... I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! I REALLY DO! It's just.... he hasn't paied any attention to me in the past 2 weeks... I feel, for lack of better words, neglected. I know one night of amazing sex doesn't mean you love someone... But we both agreed that there is something there. J laughed and told me, for rite now... we're going to be fuck buddies... And i'm fine with that... I don't know how often that would be... But, I have begun to notice that ever sence last night, when I get horny... my bf face doesn't pop into my mind... J's does. :\
I seriously crossed the line...
But in the words of my friend B... At leaste it was good sex.
Read more